The Condom Situation

Raw sex? Messy sex? Or safely contained pleasure? It’s a never-ending debate.

Hey lovelies. Back again with another writer/reader discussion topic. The condom question is something I didn’t think much about when I first started writing. The first sex scene I wrote for publication was in Wedding Antics, and based on the feedback I got from beta readers, I just zoomed forward. Condoms are something I’ve discussed with readers and writers. If someone is new to writing sex, it’s generally one of the things they eventually ask about. So what is the condom situation?

  • Situation A
    • What is a condom? The scene plays with no mention or thought of a condom or any protection. It’s like it doesn’t exist at all.
  • Situation B
    • No thank you, condom. The scene mentions a condom but it isn’t used, for whatever reason.
  • Situation C
    • Always condom! The scene mentions a condom and it is used. Basic stuff.

Readers and writers alike have pros and cons for all the scenes. I prefer situation B for most of my contemporary writing. Protection is cool, and I’m not promoting going out and being unsafe, but my writing is purely fantasy… and my fantasy ladies tend to like it raw. Not every reader/writer agrees with this choice, and that’s cool! You are allowed your opinion. I like messy sex, that’s my argument. I think there is something hot about a guy asking about a condom but the woman deciding nope. (given both parties agree!)

Some would say situation B promotes STDs and unwanted pregnancies, but if you’re reading erotica or even steamy romance as a how-to guide, chances are you’ve got bigger problems. In the world of fiction, a sexy guy groping you without so much as a “Hi, how are you doing?” can (sometimes) become a meet-cute. In real life, it’s sexual harassment. Huge differences. Just because it flies in a book, doesn’t mean you can do it IRL. That goes for the bad and the good, sadly.

Others think situation B distracts from the sexiness of the scene. Personally, I try to keep the condom talk quick, but I can see how it may kill the mood. I know there is a movement for condoms being sexy because they’re safe, but I don’t get behind that. Condoms aren’t sexy, but they don’t need to be. Nothing has to be sexy in order for it to be a valid choice. 

Moving along, in my paranormal I usually go with situation A. My wolf shifters can’t impregnate human women or pass on STDs, so that’s one cheat. The other is that the only females they can reproduce with are other shifters, and they don’t do the deed unless they’re ready to make that lifelong commitment anyways. It works out well, I think.

I have only written situation C in sweet romance stories that may never see the light of day (under this name). I don’t have an issue with reading them, they just 99% of the time aren’t my jam.

What about you? As a reader or writer, where do you weigh in? Check this post on Facebook to reply!

The Condom Situation in Romance Writing

The Condom Situation in Romance Writing – Should you? Shouldn’t you?

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